first off: being home for vacation kinda sucks. my hometown is really boring and there is nothing here for me except my mother and cats and dogs. i love my mom in everyday, she is the greatest woman on the planet, and she tries very hard to make my time at home count. sadly i have no friends in my home town, how you ask because the kids from my school all seem to suck and no one really wants to be my friend, and hey thats whatever, but being in a place where i have no one to turn to except my mother can be annoying. being at school in philly i have all my friends and social things. i just wish there was a way to make it all work out when i was home, but it doesnt happen that way.
ok second off, which sorta goes with the first one, on top of being alone at home with no friends, i wish i had a boyfriend. i miss being in a relationship. being able to care about someone and have them return those feelings. i see all these people with their boyfriends and i just get jealous. i wish i was happy like that. not to say im not happy, cuz i am happy. i dont need a man, but i would love to have one in my life. someone to count on.
thirdly, Im in love with my best friend. he knows, i told him that i did. im crazy about him, i wish he could just see how perfect we are together, we have all these similarities and just get along so well, which i guess is good for our friendship. even after i told him, he acted like nothing has changed, and it just makes me question if ill ever be right for anyone. heres some background on me, i had a relationship my senior year of high school, so like 2 years ago. and it went well until i started college and we had a terrible beak up and i just feel like ever since then ive been in this slump and there is this invisible sign above my head saying :dont date:. i just dont want to be lonely this christmas. i want to bring home a nice sweet guy to a family event and have everyone love him.WHERE IS MY FAIRYTALE????
i know there arent fairytales. i know im being unrealistic when i dream of my best friend falling madly in love with me, but hey a girl can dream.
anyways i think thats about it for now, if you read this entire thing, well thinks
leave comments if you have any suggestions on how i should handle my life because i just dont know anymore.
MUCH LOVE <3